Wednesday, February 28, 2007

New Year's Monster

It's kind of late to be putting this up, but I forgot to do it earlier so here it goes.

One of my last duties as a kindergarten teacher was to play the part of the New Year's Monster in a play about the origins of the Chinese New Year holiday. All I had to do was don the mask (pictured above next to Hello Kitty) and run out at appropriate times and scare the kiddies--but not too much. All the kids were wearing red, a color that I, as the monster, was supposed to be afraid of.

When the appointed time came I ran out from a side room and swooped in on the kids. They were screaming hysterically, even though the only disguise I had was that mask. All the other clothes I was wearing were exactly the same as when I'd been teaching them fifteen minutes earlier. Still, they have an amazing capacity for suspending disbelief at that age.

I couldn't see a damned thing except through the mouth hole, and even that was a big blur because I was trying to move as much like a monster as I could. All I really remember seeing is one of the baby class (kids 1-3 years old) looking up at me with his mouth and eyes wide open SCREAMING as if I was dangling him over a pot of boiling oil. It surprised me so much that I almost fell over, but instead bid a hasty retreat in order to avoid being jailed for causing a child to die of cardiac arrest.

I just wish I had a picture of that face. Unfortunately the best I can do for now is show the mask I wore.

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