Thursday, May 29, 2008

Shocking News Flash: Monkeys in Control!

I know, I know. Weeks without a single post, and then two in one day. Have I gone mad? Perhaps, but I felt it was my duty to inform the world of this grave threat.

Okay, not actually a monkey, but it is a good picture.


I just couldn't help it. I was watching CNN (the official propaganda wing of the Bush administration), when on the news ticker (you know, the little strip at the bottom of the screen that tells you so little about news stories that it is absolutely worthless) a story flashed by that chilled me to the very marrow of my bones. It read:

"Monkeys control robots with their minds."

Horror of horrors. Surely the end is near. How can the human race survive when faced with such a threat? I can see it now: monkeys sitting their trees while mentally controlling an army of robots as it rampages through the streets of our cities in search of bananas.

Global warming? Ha! It is clear now what the real threat is, and it may indeed be too late to take any action to stop it. Soon the few humans that have not been destroyed will be enslaved and forced to wear ill-fitting costumes while performing silly tricks.

No wonder robots never seem to do what we want them to.

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